Monday, April 5, 2010

Some thoughts

So I've been meaning to write something on here that isn't a repost for a while. Still getting the hang of the flow and switching from all my Facebooking to this has been a challenge.

Buddhism class has been filled with epiphany after epiphany and I feel much more centered and at home with my position spiritually. I think if I had understood a deeper version of Buddhism back when I was deciding between it and Mormonism - Mormonism would have never happened. Weird realization but true.

I have divested of the labels surrounding my spirituality. Now for most casual observers this really doesn't mean anything (which really was at the core of the divestiture anyway) but for my own inner turmoil this has been amazing. Welcome to the power of meditation. My brother thinks I should have a sort of "coming out" party (but he would) and force people to notice my new status but I think that takes away from the power of divesting from the label. See I'm not part of the label system but "they" fail to notice. The failure of the great "they" to notice my change proves the falsity of the label. By engaging in the conversation it weakens the position and names the change. I don't want the change named because, fundamentally, I didn't change. So that is crazy and probably doesn't make sense, but again if I spend more time clarifying its going to weaken my symbolic position and create a literary position. The text isn't what has meaning. The symbol has to stand. You can feel free to decide what all this means, I am not participating anymore. It's a great place to be.

In other news: I am getting better and better and vegetarian cooking, I got my funding for summer and we are looking for a place to live with our children far from the prying, kibitzing judgement of the MIL. Life is good.

No comments: