Pardon our dust and other euphemisms

Transformation has been ongoing for the last while and we are coming to the "emerging from the cocoon phase".  A long blog post is coming soon.  

A Reflection

I have been meaning to post on the retreat since getting back but, with the bad ankle and jumping back into teaching, I put it off.  I have been reflecting on the hustle and bustle of life and really thinking about the change in my relationship with food over the years.  Dear Chef was able to join me on the last day at the retreat and he was as moved by the mindful eating at the retreat as I was, particularly the Five Mindfulnesses of Eating.

At each meal one person would read or quote this reminder before we ate our food.  It brought both a sense of gratitude and an awake presence during the meal.  We thought it would be an excellent family food prayer.  My relationship with food before becoming a vegetarian was decidedly love-hate (heavy on the hate).  Vegetarianism was a cornerstone to shifting my perception, as was sustainable cooking, but mindful eating has completely changed the dynamic.  I love the food in our home.  I love the beauty of the food.  I love the flavor of the food.  Most of all I love that the food is not my enemy.

We took time to enjoy the farmer's market in San Francisco before we came the rest of the way home from retreat.  Chef (who is also a gifted photographer) took some terrific photos of our time at the market. I hope you enjoy the riot of color and the peace of the prayer.

Mindful eating prayer:

• This food is a gift of the earth, the sky, numerous living beings and much hard work.
• May we eat with mindfulness and gratitude so as to be worthy to receive it.
• May we recognize and transform our unwholesome mental formations, especially our greed, and learn to eat with moderation.
• May we keep our compassion alive by eating in such a way that we reduce the suffering of living beings, preserve our planet and reverse the process of global warming.
• We accept this food so that we may nurture our brotherhood and sisterhood, strengthen our sangha and nourish our ideal of serving all beings.

A Simple Practice

This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Blog Carnival hosted by hosted by Kelly of Becoming Crunchy and Zoie of TouchstoneZ. Participants are writing posts about what mindfulness mean to them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Mindfulness is a keystone in our home and we would not enjoy the chaos of our lives nearly as much without it.  When Chef and I first started our practice we already had the full midget crew, so including them was the Way from day one.  We did struggle at first to figure out what worked for us.  We now have a simple practice that brings us a very connected peaceful (you know, usually...) family.

Several friends with kids have asked us how we practice with kids and I always start by saying you have to adjust your expectations.  Practicing with kids is great, it's wonderful, but it's also nothing like practicing at a meditation center with nothing but adults in the room, nor is it anything like practicing alone.

We have a two part practice.  In the evening we gather together in our bedroom on our big bed.  Three across the top and three along the bottom.  It provides a nice soft spot and we are in a good circle (we also have a small house so it's a great dedicated space).  One of the kids gets to help light incense or the oil burner on the dresser.  We read a story together.  Sometimes its a bible story, sometimes its a dharma story and sometimes it's a favorite kid story.  We always adjust the seriousness and length based on how wiggly and giggly the crew is.  Some nights we get great in depth reading and others - it's short story time.  :) We often have a short discussion after the story.  The thoughts the midgets express during this discussion are usually more thoughtful than expected and as they have gotten confidence that their thoughts will be valued no matter what they say, the depth of their observations has just grown.

After story time we do short deep breathing meditation.  We either ring our bell three times or one of us plays the singing bowl for a brief time at the end to break meditation.  We then take time going around the circle to give deep heart hugs to each other.

Heart hugs are the center of our practice.  That simple step has brought us more connection, more peace than any other thing we have ever done, we crave it at the end of our day.  And it is SO very simple.  You hug to the 'other' side so that your hearts are lined up over one another.  You take a nice deep breath in the hug, really feeling that connection and time of the hug.  Take another deep breath and express your love to one another and release.

I know it does not sound like a lot but it really has changed our home.

In the morning we do a short Tai Chi practice (we rarely hit 30 min) as a family and kneel in meditative prayer together; sometimes one of the kids has something they want to say and they take turns leading.  As the kids leave for their busses we do a super short hug out the door.

Once a month we do a special meditation practice called 'Watering the Seeds'.  As needed we will do 'Deep Listening' practice to work out disputes or hurt feelings.  That's it.  The depth of our practice is probably hard to see from this simple description but that is the beauty of mindfulness.  Mindfulness grows from such simple roots when the space and time are provided.

I hope this helps give you the inspiration to add a bit of Mindfulness to your home.


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Visit the Mindful Mama Blog Carnival Homepage to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Blog Carnival!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• An Alternative Approach to Parenting Mindfully Through Present Moment Awareness Amy at Peace 4 Parents offers an experience of present moment awareness as a pathway to mindful parenting.
• Define: Mindful Alicia C. at McCrenshaw describes the Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings for Engaged Buddhism and attempts to describe how she can apply them to her non-Buddhist life on her new journey toward mindfulness.
• This is what mindfulness looks like in my life Charise @ I Thought I Knew Mama describes what mindfulness looks like in her life in the form of poetry.
• Practice, Practice, Practice: Becoming a Mindful Mother Erin at it's OK shares her definition of mindfulness, and her struggle to develop a regular practice.
• How Meditation Makes Me a More Mindful Mother Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her methods for sneaking meditation into each and every day in an effort to dig deep and be the most mindful mother possible.
• A Simple Practice Kat at My Mental Oddities outlines a simple practice with children
• Our Family Mission Statement Patti @ Jazzy Mama writes about how living mindfully means living intentionally. She created her Family Mission Statement to help her family stay focused on their goals and values.
• I REALLY Miss Being Mindful! Tracie of Purposeful Practices shares what it’s like to find and then lose your mindfulness practice.
• My Job Made Me a Mindful Mother Amy at Anktangle tells a story about how a mindfulness practice she used to utilize in her job as a nurse still impacts the way she mothers her son today.
• Now Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shows how mindfulness is all about living in the moment.
• Stepping into the Unknown To Rachael at The Variegated Life, mindfulness is a way of stepping into the unknown.
• Derailed Kelly of Becoming Crunchy explores what mindfulness looks like in her new, somewhat more hectic life.
• Mindful Mama Zoie at TouchstoneZ learns to stop struggling by being present with uncomfortable realizations.

Stuff I'm Excited About

Hello old friend it's been a while.  I've been off doing stuff and trying to be a better me, reconciling what I can't re-do and trying to move into the future.  I thought after such a long hiatus that I'd just start with a simple list of stuff I'm excited about for various reasons.

I've fallen in love with VegWeb it's amazing.  Such a great easy resource for families, singles etc...

I spend a lot of time reading the Dharma talks at the Deer Park Monastery in preparation for the retreat at the end of the year.  It's a great way for someone to feel part of a community and learn from amazing teachers while in your yoga pants at home.

Also for practice at home is the BuddhaNet Library.  Great way to have a free gong for meditation while you save up for a good one.

I also love making medicine for us and friends and Dr. Christopher is a local source that also has a handy web site.

There are other things I'm really getting excited about but this was meant to be a simple list of starter stuff.  The best part of future looking is the Sangha.  It looks like we are headed toward community.  :)  I can not express my joy at this possibility.

A thought on defining your terms

One of my preoccupations is religion.  I write professionally on religion, faith and its affect on real people.  I do this because of my own passions and whims.  This leads people to assume certain things about me - especially as I will attend a congregation for some time as part of my research without necessarily subscribing to or sharing its faith.  This isn't done out of a lack of respect or even out of a dearth of personal faith, but it really confuses all those people who want nice categorical boxes.

I study religion and faith because of my love of the metaphysical, the divine and the passion people hold for those ideas, as well as a basic curiosity.  I spend a lot of my time thinking about these things.  I recently read a much more interesting post on this topic sent to me by my friend Tod - Mad Max Mormonism vs Star Trek Mormonism.

It has led me to question a definition: Latter.  Weird right?  Ok, but here's the thing - SO much ideology hinges on that word.  Latter.

Is it the end of days?  Jesus is on the way and the worse it gets the better it gets?  Or.  Could it be the other meaning of latter?  You know, the one that simply means "second".  Not latest, not last, but latter.  The one wherein the Lord, our God, is giving us a second chance to get it right.

Maybe if this definition had been made clear, many things in our state would be different.  Instead of feeding the beast that is corporate greed, polluting and raping the environment out of some sense that disregarding our stewardship of the earth is actually a good thing, we would be focusing on some of those other ideas our big brother tried to get us to hear.  The ones like loving our fellow humans, spending a lot more time with the needy, the lonely, and doing good works, the stuff that gets our hands dirty but our souls clean.

Maybe true believers could believe the good stuff not just the Apocalyptic Book part.  If we understood the definition of Latter, we could see the Revelations Book as a warning not a promise.  We could stop judging one another (which btw we aren't supposed to do either) and racing to the End of Days.   We could build intentional communities, enrich the earth, sustain ourselves and each other in joy.  We could also raise children who are thinking, connected citizens and most of all, we could practice faith instead of just preaching it.

True believers need to ask themselves what they are rushing forward to.  If we get to the end of the race today, do we meet the requirements?  Have we done anything other than rapine and war?  This isn't that kind of race.  How we get to the end actually matters more than how fast we do it.  For myself, I would like more time to get it right, to be that community described as Zion.  Hugh Nibley didn't seem to think we were getting it right and he was a much better thinker than I.

Maybe we need to define our terms.

I sometimes wish I were cooler...

Ok so this is one of "those" posts.  You know, the ones that tell you all what a geek I really am.  Well I've managed to mess up my knee.  I have a serious sprain (possible tear) of my MCL, the ACL's dumber, lesser known sister.  I am trapped in bed for two days and will have to wear a big, clunky brace for at least two weeks.

And I don't even have a cool story!!  My bike is setting out all ready to be ridden and the doc says if I'm lucky I'll be out on it before the  *end* *of* *June*.  Yeah, my rowing machine is useless, I can't ride the bike, I can't even WALK.  And I don't have a cool story.  The super special bonus?  I get to backslide on my weight loss.  So now you all are going to hear about the stuff I think about when I'm avoiding thinking about things.  It was bound to happen.  I was going to have to open up and actually share one of these days...

So, here is my neurotic question for the evening.  Why would I not get lypo when: A) I know I can maintain without gaining weight as my size has been the same for 7 years, B) I would have instant health benefits to my body, and C) I don't have a low self esteem or some sort of misguided "life changing" mental association with the process?  Aren't all the arguments against it just as superficial as most people's reasons for getting it?  I want better health and a stronger body.  I don't need or expect some sort of sex object status, it's just expensive...

Ok so there it is, as shallow as I get...  enjoy?

Radical homemaking — Traditional, or not?

I'm trying to decide if I like this or not. I think the problem, on the surface, is that you must have a certain social-economic status in order to live radically in this setting. You must be secure in your property, in a home and have the ability to carve out a domestic space. The basic needs must be met before you can live simply. I love the idea but it does not address a basic problem in our society. Not everyone has a place of security from which to operate and attach to this kind of simplicity. The one thing holding back our group from founding our intentional community is the money to purchase the property and build our yurts. Once the land and improvements are made we can live on virtually no money... until then? Well there is a reason our commune will have so many semi-retired MA, MS, JD and PhDs on it.

Radical homemaking — Traditional, or not?: "

The Oregonian’s Leslie Cole recently interviewed Shannon Hayes, who has a book out titled Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture. The idea behind the book? That being domestic can be radical, not merely traditional. As Cole writes:

The women and men Hayes profiles in her new book strive to eat locally, live on less, and untether themselves from a consumption-driven culture. They cook more, shop little, and make do with what they have. They strive to view decisions through the lens of family, community, planet, and social justice.

Cole goes on to profile a few Portlanders who exemplify the radical-homemaking ideal, including Sarah Gilbert, Chris Musser, and Gretchan Jackson. No radical-homemaking guys, though — for that, you’ll have to read Hayes’ book.

from Sift

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Some thoughts

So I've been meaning to write something on here that isn't a repost for a while. Still getting the hang of the flow and switching from all my Facebooking to this has been a challenge.

Buddhism class has been filled with epiphany after epiphany and I feel much more centered and at home with my position spiritually. I think if I had understood a deeper version of Buddhism back when I was deciding between it and Mormonism - Mormonism would have never happened. Weird realization but true.

I have divested of the labels surrounding my spirituality. Now for most casual observers this really doesn't mean anything (which really was at the core of the divestiture anyway) but for my own inner turmoil this has been amazing. Welcome to the power of meditation. My brother thinks I should have a sort of "coming out" party (but he would) and force people to notice my new status but I think that takes away from the power of divesting from the label. See I'm not part of the label system but "they" fail to notice. The failure of the great "they" to notice my change proves the falsity of the label. By engaging in the conversation it weakens the position and names the change. I don't want the change named because, fundamentally, I didn't change. So that is crazy and probably doesn't make sense, but again if I spend more time clarifying its going to weaken my symbolic position and create a literary position. The text isn't what has meaning. The symbol has to stand. You can feel free to decide what all this means, I am not participating anymore. It's a great place to be.

In other news: I am getting better and better and vegetarian cooking, I got my funding for summer and we are looking for a place to live with our children far from the prying, kibitzing judgement of the MIL. Life is good.

Finally embracing the semester

So I have decided to finally participate in the semester. I can't seem to just drift through... I wish I could. Instead I find myself googling images in a word association-esque drift through what may be the next level of collective human consciousness to gather pictures for my notes and scraps. I wish I could draw. It would cost less.

So I have started having poetry happen to me. I don't feel like I'm writing it and I certainly never have had the skill before, so something is popping these word sketches in on me. I write them out, because not writing would be disrespectful to whatever is driving this, and I think I may share them here. Why not? Right? So look for that soon. Yeah and I'll post some of the pictures as soon as I figure out how.

Getting Started

As a noob to blogging I'm not sure where this is headed or what I'll get from this. Mostly I'm hoping to keep connected to people as we prepare to move and get started on grown up life. As I get this figured out I'll add to it. For now this is a bit of an open diary I guess. So hopefully eventually there will be people along for the ride and this'll make sense. :)

Kat