Sloppy Joes

I am SO going to Veganize this!!

Sloppy Joes: "

I used to be terrified of sloppy joes. It’s true. When I was a little girl, I got it in my head that sloppy joes were demons, and that if I ate them I’d become possessed and die.

Okay, listen. I know that sounds crazy. But thanks to my best friend Becky, who was a strong Baptist, demon possession was among the largest of my childhood fears. Becky and I thought my parents’ basement was possessed, she thought Vogue magazine was possessed, and I, in turn, came to believe sloppy joes—in all their wonderful, hot comfort foodedness—were possessed.

I’ve since come to see the light. I’ve made my peace with sloppy joes.

And Becky’s made her peace with Vogue magazine.

We’ve both grown a lot in our faith.

Here’s what you need. As you can see, I accidentally left a couple of items out of the Cast of Characters shot. And you know what they say: it ain’t a party till somethin’ gets left out of the Cast of Characters shot!

First, add the butter to a large skillet or dutch oven over medium high heat. Dump in the ground beef and cook it till it’s brown.

When the meat is brown, drain out most of the fat. Look at all of this!

You wanna make your cardiologist happy? Send him a photo like this.

Next, cut a medium onion in half from root to tip. Lay one half of the onion face down on a cutting board, then make several vertical slices across the onion.

Then cut in the other direction to dice it.

It’s been awhile since I showed you how to dice an onion.

It was time.

Now cut off the top and bottom of a green pepper or two (depending on the size.) Cut the round in half and lay the halves flat.

Cut the halves into strips…

Then cut up the strips to create a small dice.

I love dicing bell peppers. If I could get a job that would involve my dicing bell peppers 24 hours a day, I’d jump at the chance!

I’d probably quit within two days because by then I’d be really dang sick of bell peppers.

But it would be the best two days of my life.

Dice up some garlic, too—several cloves! Have courage!

Throw in the onions and peppers…

And the garlic! Cook this for a few minutes, until the onions and peppers start to get a little soft.

Measure a cup and a half (give or take) of ketchup. You can also a little jarred chili sauce, too, if you have some languishing in the door of your fridge.

Throw it into the meat mixture…

And stir it to combine. Add a little salt and plenty of freshly ground black pepper to spice things up a bit.

Add a cup or cup and a half of water…

And stir it in.

Next, add in a little brown sugar, some chili powder, and some dry mustard.

Stir it around and let it simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, just to let the flavors all meld.

While it’s cooking, sprinkle in some red pepper flakes to give the sloppy joes some bada BOOM bada BING BANG BOOM!

But only if you’re into that sort of thing.

Along the way, you can also add in a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce, more salt and pepper if needed, and even (I do this often) a tablespoon or two of tomato paste to give it a little deeper tomato flavor. Taste and test along the way—you can even add a little Tabasco to really set things on fire.

To serve the sloppy joes, I like to toast the buns first. It gives a little bit of substance and crispness to the sandwiches, and it creates more work for me, which is a hobby of mine.

No. Not really.

Be sure to use butter on the griddle!

Without butter, nothing matters in life.

Add a heapin’ helpin’ of the meat mixture.

Yummy! And no sign of Satan anywhere!

Plop on the top of the bun and serve it up with a big bunch of kettle cooked potato chips. The crunch is essential!

Oh, and if you’re feeling particularly naughty…you can melt a slice of cheese over the top.

Enjoy these! They’re scrumptious.

Love,

P-Dub

Sloppy Joes

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Prep Time: 10 Minutes

Cook Time: 20 Minutes

Difficulty: Easy

Servings: 8

Ingredients

• 2 Tablespoons Butter
• 2-½ pounds Ground Beef
• ½ whole Large Onion, Diced
• 1 whole Large Green Bell Pepper, Diced
• 5 cloves Garlic, Minced
• 1-½ cup Ketchup
• 1 cup Water
• 2 Tablespoons Brown Sugar
• 2 teaspoons Chili Powder (more To Taste)
• 1 teaspoon Dry Mustard
• ½ teaspoons Red Pepper Flakes (more To Taste)
• Worcestershire Sauce To Taste
• 2 Tablespoons Tomato Paste (optional)
• Tabasco Sauce (optional; To Taste)
• Salt To Taste
• Freshly Ground Black Pepper, To Taste
• Kaiser Rolls
• Butter

Preparation Instructions

Add butter to a large skillet or dutch oven over medium high heat. Add ground beef and cook until brown. Drain most of the fat and discard.

Add onions, green pepper, and garlic. Cook for a few minutes, or until vegetables begin to get soft.

Add ketchup, brown sugar, chili pepper, dry mustard, and water. Stir to combine and simmer for 15 minutes, adding salt and pepper to taste. Also add tomato paste, Worcestershire, and Tabasco if desired. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.

Spread rolls with butter and brown on a griddle or skillet. Spoon meat mixture over the rolls, topping with a slice of cheese if it makes your skirt fly up. Serve hot with kettle cooked chips!

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